


Unwilling Goodbyes

by bananas_for_the_win



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Civil War (Marvel), F/M, Goodbyes, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 00:57:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13752888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananas_for_the_win/pseuds/bananas_for_the_win
Summary: lol when I first posted this I forgot a summary :P~~She was finally free. Free from HYDRA, free from her ties to SHIELD, and free from that place that held her captive for so long. But with that, she lost him. Her anchor. Her Soldier.This story accompanies Pit-Stop





	Unwilling Goodbyes

At first, she thought she’d imagined it.

It’d been so long since she’d seen any form of light. The fixture above her cell had long-since died, and her cell was at the end of a long hallway, far away from any light source. For years, she lived in darkness. But she’d seen it. It was there. The short flash of white in her eyes before it disappeared. But it was there.

She was so weak, so tired. Tired of fighting, of screaming, of _everything_. She could barely move, barely breathe. Her stomach had been empty for what could’ve been weeks for all she knew. She just wished that she didn't imagine it.

She had known something was off when he didn't show up. He always came to her after a mission and before he was to leave for a long time. This had been different. They knew that spontaneity wasn't good for his mental state. He knew about everything he was supposed to do before he did it; every step of every mission was broken down. Not only did it keep him sane, but it also helped him think through every possible scenario, plan and practice everything so when the time came, he would do it perfectly. Like he always did.

So when he didn't come back, she fell apart. She stopped eating what little food they gave her, she cried all the time, sobbing and screaming so hard that she made herself sick. He was her only hope of getting out alive, and he had been taken from her.

She struggled to get her head off the ground; her skull felt like it was filled with lead. The flash hadn't happened again, but she had _seen_ it. It was real.

So she screamed. Or, she tried to. It came out like a grunt more than anything. But it was something. So she did it again. And again. And again, and again, and again, over and over and over until her throat burned with lack of use. There was nothing but chains in her cell, so she moved what little she could to make them jangle. Soon, she heard footsteps.

Voices followed those footsteps. And more of that beautiful, painfully bright light. The voices were shouting, and they were right there, _right there_ , so close that she could almost touch them. She was still grunting and clanging, not wanting them to miss her. She didn't realize that she was crying until the first one touched her face.

There was more shouting, more crying, and the next thing she remembered was the blue and red flashing lights of an ambulance as she was rolled out of that hell hole on a gurney.  
~~  
They weren’t SHIELD, she knew that much. But they knew where to find her. Maybe Fury had tipped them off. But if he did, wouldn't he be here now? Where was Hill? And Romanoff?

The TV on the wall answered her. On the screen was the face of Natasha Romanoff, on trial for treason, if the title was to believed. She was wearing that snide smirk that she knew so well, and she knew that those men on the board didn't stand a chance against her.

But that still didn't tell her how they’d found her. Or who _they_ was. Nurses were bustling about, checking her vitals and giving her fluids through an IV in her arm. But there were others. There were men in dark suits standing outside her room, along with fatigued soldiers with large guns. She began to panic at the familiarity of them, and the beeping on the heart monitor sped up.

The nurse touched her hand gingerly, comforting her. She had blonde hair and deep brown eyes, an uncommon combination, but beautiful nonetheless. An explosion of freckles dotted her cheeks, and she couldn't have been more than twenty-two. She gave a warm smile when the girl looked at her, and she began to relax.

“It’s alright. I know you’re scared. But those people are gone, they can't get to you anymore. You’re safe here.” the nurse said, her voice soft and tender, just like her touch had been.

_Safe._

_Gone._

_He’s gone._

She hadn't thought about him until then; she had been too wrought with emotions from being found and rescued. But she thought about him now, and her heart was breaking. _Everyone gone. Even him._

_They can't get to you anymore._

She began to cry. Harder than she’d ever cried in that place or anywhere else. She cried and cried. She cried so hard and so long that the nurse from before had to give her something to calm her down. But the drugs couldn't help her raging emotions and racing mind.  
~  
Later, a man came in to talk to her. He was neatly dressed, and she recognized a comm wrapped around his ear. He flashed a badge when he arrived and the soldiers at her door stepped aside for him. He said was from the federal government, but not from SHIELD. She wanted to see Hill. Or if she could just talk to Fury…

But the man was not Hill, and Fury was not here.

The man said that they found out about the base at which she was being held from the HYDRA files that were released with the collapse of SHIELD. This startled her. There was a lot she didn't know, apparently. A lot. An overwhelming amount of a lot.

She was having trouble focusing on what the man was saying. But she’d already had another emotional breakdown since the first, and she knew if it happened again, she’d be sent to the psych ward. The last thing she wanted was to be locked away somewhere. Not again.

She only heard a few words the man said: _HYDRA, fall,_ and _Stark_. She perked at the name. She knew that name. That must be how they found her. They wouldn't have come otherwise. Her heart inflated with gratitude. Her godfather never stopped looking for her, then. Well, it paid off.

Finally, the man left, but the girl still had so many questions, mostly about the metal-armed man. She knew he was a ghost, so no one here would know where he would be. And if they did, they probably were afraid of him.

_That's not who he really is_ , she thought. _He’s so much more. He’s not who they made him._

It was unfair that he would probably never get to live a normal life if he ever got free. Even though she only spent a short time with HYDRA compared to him, she knew what they had done. Not just to him, but all the innocent people they made him kill. They took everything from him: his life, his identity, and frankly, his innocence. The torture she was subjected to was awful, and she could only imagine what he had to suffer.

_He’s really gone._

She cried herself to sleep again that night.  
~  
A few days later, Natasha came to see her.

She almost cried again just at the sight of her shock of red hair. They waited for the nurses to leave and to make sure that the soldiers couldn't hear. She spoke in sharp whispers.

“I know what you're thinking,” she said, “and he’s gone off the grid. We can't find him.”

The girl sighed. She figured as much.

“After those files were brought to light, and we heard about a certain scientist that had been taking a particularly long stay at Hotel HYDRA,” she smirked, something the girl had missed so dearly, “Tony just knew it was you.”

The girl smiled at her words. She loved Tony for so many reasons, but his unwillingness to give up on the people he loved was the biggest one.

“But,” Natasha paused before continuing. She paused long enough for the girl to become concerned. She gave the red-head a look, one that she didn't return. This only made the girl worry more.

“But we think you're still in danger.” she finally said.

The girl tensed. She knew what HYDRA would do if they thought she was a threat. Or if they wanted her back. She breathed deeply to calm her nerves. _I’m not going back to that place. No way in_ hell.

Natasha sensed her unease. She laid a hand on the girl’s, squeezing lightly. The girl gave a nervous smile. She didn't want to go back to that place, not without him. She wasn't going back without him. She wasn't going back at all.

The girl nodded lightly. She didn't trust her voice not to fail her; it’d been so long since she’d had a conversation filled with something other than whispers.

“We— “ she stopped, corrected, “The federal government has arranged for you to…” she struggled with her words, further putting the girl on edge. Natasha sighed and trudged on, “They’ve arranged for your relocation, somewhere out of the country, and for your name to be changed.”

The girl was frozen. Her world and mind alike were spinning. She didn't want to leave— Tony was here, she couldn't leave Tony. And what if he was still alive? What if he was looking for her right now? What if this only pushes him further away from her?

But she understood. No matter how badly she wanted to stay with Tony in the States, she knew it was for her safety. And she knew that he wouldn't let her stay if he knew it would put her in danger.

So she nodded. She held back her tears. She signed the forms for the name change, she took a picture for her passport, and she became a naturalized citizen of Romania. She left a few weeks later, right after she was cleared to leave the hospital. She left everything. She was no longer the girl she used to be, the one who lost years of her life in a cold, dark cell; the girl who fought for her life alongside a man who was as abused as she was.

She was no longer the girl who came to love a metal-armed assassin.


End file.
